Saturday, December 11, 2010

single .

"  Life is full of attachments, so being single is a state of inadvertent denial "

awake at 7am. & i got few notifications. one of 'em is 'Fathulrahman Zubit likes your photo'. terus teringatkan toxman. he used to be my <3 before. he's sweet. damn caring. sorry toxman coz leave you. takleh lupe how worse his condition when i say i wanna leave him. teruk kan? sometimes, rase menyesal. even mama pon macam ta puas hati ngan my decision tuhh. sorry mama. mama said, "bukan senang nak cari org yg sayang eika mcm tu tao...bla..blaa".
hurm..banyak sgt la cerita kalo nak diceritakan kat sini lepas kami breakup. time memula, die mmg mcm xde arah. but now, i can see his success. i'm proud of him. even die mungkin xleh nak forgive me, im just fine. at least, he enjoys his world & success in his life. btw toxman, all the best ok? eika doakan toxman berjayaaa jadi professional engineer. sorry toxman. :)
* i called him 'toxman' & he used to called me 'mel2'. his friend call me 'eika/rafique'. hee :DD

afta gedik meneliti FB toxman, teringat kim pulakk. then, bukak profile die. first post, is about he was tag in a photo. aku bukak the photo. his college went to FRIM. well, he looks enjoy. & lately pon, da takde call or text me dahh. guess he's also enjoying his life. his mom or his friends pon da xde asking me to give him second chance. i dont believe in second chance. coz once i've give second chance, there 'll be another chances afterwards. so, menyampah. cukup lah satu peluang. then, leave. :)
kejam kan? that's me. btw kim, aku harap kau enjoy ok? blaja rajin2. make ur parents proud of u. they do love u, is. sorry, is. :)
* i called him 'IS', he called me 'eiqa/makcekgila', his friend call me 'JC'. hee :DD

after toxman and kim, there's 1 more guy. hidhir. i've known him since im in form 2. i've talked bout him in the previous post. he's already have wife as his relationship status in FB is Married. he says that he loves me & die rela lepaskan wife die. whathelaa? i dont dating w someone's HUSBAND. so, i ask him to continue his relationship w his wife. for a month, we've been close. but since he's going to Perak, we've lost contact. again. he did his perangai lama. MissingInAction AGAIN. but, its okayy. i know he's not serious w me. im just fine. i wont cry for all day long just bcoz he didn't call or text me or even he didn't love me. btw kungah, sorry ea if sakit hati bace bnd neh. just show my feelings. all the best. jadi contractor yg terbaik ok? keje rajin2. sorry syed. :)
* i called him 'syed'. he called me 'eika'. hee :D

this post was a bit gedix. kenapa nak cerita pasal ex-BF aku kat sini? haha. gedik kan? sukahati aku lah. blog aku. tamao bace & menyampah, main jaoh2 ok? wek! ehem ehem. as far as i remember, i've long relationship w 3 of 'em. the longest is w toxman. one & a half year. with kim is 8 months. with syed, actually 2 years but he kept MIA. so, i dunno how to count the days. hee. all of them, i'm the one who ask for breakup. for my own reasons. i dun think i shuld say it here. just, its all my fault. i pity them coz they didn't do any mistakes at all. im sorry guys for wasting ur air mata. as mama said to toxman, "eika ni budak lagi. die tataw ape yg die putuskan. keputusan die neh dibuat sesuka hati. ta fikir perasaan org. jadi, maafkanlah die. kalo ade jodoh, ade lah pertemuan kalian nanti". jadi, silalah maafkan saya yea? :)

i am SINGLE now. but im UNAVAILABLE. coz i really love being single. sometimes, i do feel lonely. tade sape msj. maxis je yg slalu text me. but, sokayy. i have my lovely family. papa, mama, cici, abang, dayot, jamil. they bright up my life. they always gives me spirit to continue studies. well, i do lost my spirit but since papa & mama give me support, i'm so excited to study again & get pointer 3 & above. i'd like to make my parents proud of me. i wanna study & get the spirit like my first step to SEGi UC, Kota Damansara. im so excited ! semangat berkobar2. & i can feel it back now. i've my final exam on 23rd December 2010 & i'll do my very best !! 

instead of having family, i also have my friends. even some of 'em is LO, but sokayy. at least, i've my close friend that also gives me spirit & always cheer up my life. thanx a lot girls & guys. i love u alls. lets study as our exam is just around the corner. stop playing around okay? all the best everyone ! :)

- afiqah zairizal -